Intro riff:

E-11b12-| (repeat A lot)


E       B     C#    G#  A
Ahhh...sweet youth 
          G#  F#      F# G# F#   E   
The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute 
E          B     C# G# A  C# B  B C# B F# E     
Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator 
           E                           D#  
Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked 
                    E                             B
on the weed and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed 
        E                     D#           
And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit 
 C#               B
Let's all go and hit 


E       E      C#    E
Nitro-burning funny bong 
E        E          C#        E    
Just one hit, your life goes wrong 
E      E      C#     E
Nitro-burning funny bong 
E        E     C#      E
Another stupid stoner song 


Fat and lame 
The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed  
By a bong, and a schlong 
Yes now we have all seen how things can go wrong  


Now my brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased 
Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees 
A swarm of narcotics could get me through this 
My manager's gonna be pissed 
I'm talkin' 'bout the


Nitro-burning funny bong 
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong 
Nitro-burning funny bong

E            B
Oh, can you take it 
E         B
Oh, do a monster
E            B
Oh, can you deal with it? 
B (palm mute)
We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys 


E B C# G# A G# F# F# G# F# E
E B C# G# A G# B B C# B F# E
(guitar 2 repeat through next verse until "I'm sucking...")


E        D#
Now I'm old 
E                        B
Trapped in my cell as I cultivate mold 
E               
In the twilight of my years 
C#                 B
I am still a drug addict 


E                                B
I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong 
E
Moistened with lotion, 
C#             B      E                      B
wrapped in a sarong. You know I live like a king 
                   C#     B
But I act like a faggot
E                    D#
Once was a warrior, now just a sponge 
E                        B
High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge 
E                   D#
My glorious destiny it turned to shit 
C#                 B
Can I get another hit? 

From the nitro-burning funny bong 
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong 
Nitro-burning funny bong


Oh, can you take it? 
Oh, do a monster 
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you unless you get high with the

E       E      C#    E
Nitro-burning funny bong
E       E      C#    E
Nitro-burning funny bong
E       E      C#    E
Nitro-burning funny bong 
E       E      C#    E
Nitro-burning funny bong
B
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong


E            D#  B
Oh, can you take it 
E          D#
Oh, do a monster