C G# C
C G# C
C G# C G#
C G# C

[verse]

C         G#            C
Backside melts into the sofa
C         G#       C
My world my TV and my food
C         G#            C           G#
Besides listening to my belly gurgle
C                G#       C
There ain't much else to do
C     G#        C
Yeah, I sweat a lot
C        G#       C
     Oh... Shit...
C        G#         C          G#
Pants fall down every time I bend over
C        G#       C
My feet itch
G        F#       G
Yeah I married a scarecrow
C        G#       C

[Chorus]

A Bm       D      A
I hate you
A           Bm      D      A
Talkin' to myself
A       A#          Bm     D     A
Everybody's staring at me
    A      Bm     G      A
I'm only bleedin'

[Verse]

C             G#           C
Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes
C             G#           C
No one speaks English anymore
C             G#           C          G#
Would anybody tell me if I was getting stupider?
C             G#           C

[Chorus]

A Bm       D      A
I hate you
A           Bm      D      A
Talkin' to myself
A              A#          Bm     D     A
You don't feel it after awhile
     A       Bm      G     A
You take the beating

[Bridge]

F               D
I'm a swingin' guy
         C                           F
Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod
      D
And swing
C
Toss me inside a hefty
F                   G
And put me in the ground

[Verse]

C         G#         C
A drink needs me
C         G#         C
I don't
C         G#         C         G#
I ain't about to guzzle no tears
C         G#         C
So kiss my ass
G         F#         G
Newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts
C         G#         C

[Chorus]

A Bm       D      A
I hate you
A           Bm      D      A
Talkin' to myself
A       A#          Bm     D     A
Everybody's staring at me
    A      Bm     G      A
I'm only bleeding

[Verse]

C          G#         C
Where are the kids? I don't know
C          G#         C
Maybe getting pregnant or on drugs or on welfare, on top of the world
C          G#         C         G#
on the honor roll on parole On the dodgers on the backs of milk cartons
C          G#         C
On stakes in the middle of cornfields
C          G#         C
On covers of future history books on old lady's mantles
C          G#         C
Walkin' on water nailed on crosses
C          G#         C
I think it's time I had a talk with my kids
C          G#         C         G#
I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me
C          G#         C
You ain't never gonna amount to nothin'