F*

[Verse]
        F               A
I didn't mean it when I said I hope
  Dm             F          Bb                    F     C
The cable in the elevator snaps when you step on board.
           A                    Dm
And I was joking when I said I hope you crack your head
         G                                C
And get mangled by the downstairs revolving doors.
          F               A             Dm
And I was kidding when I said I hope the Number one-o-three bus
Bb                              F    C
Hits and makes a pancake out of you.


[Chorus]
     Dm         A
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
  Bb                     C                 F     C
Isn't it amazing what a woman in love will do?


[Verse 2]
       F                    A
And I really don't want to see your taxi
Dm
On the 59th Street Bridge
     Bb                         F     C
Flip over and crash through the rail.
            A
And I'd be sad if at the airport
            Dm
You were mistaken for a local sex offender,
 G                                  C
Arrested, beaten up, and thrown in jail.
      F                     A
And I really don't want to see you getting
      Dm                                              Bb
Radiation poisoning from the metal detector that all passengers
                                            F       C
On foreign and domestic flights must walk through.


[Chorus]
     Dm        A
I'm sorry, forgive me
    Bb            C               F    C
For all the mean things I said to you.


[Bridge]
A                           Dm
You thought I didn't have a temper.
   A                       Dm
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!
       A                               Dm
But I really don't want to see you dismembered

By the marijuana sniffing dogs,
         G                              C
When a simple little nipping would suffice, would suffice.


[Verse 3]
         F            A
And I'm sorry when I said I hope
   Dm                                                   Bb
The flight attendant spills scalding hot coffee on your lap as you
              F   C
fly away from me
          A
And I'm sorry that I said
    Dm
I hope you break both legs
        G                  C
On the mountain while you ski.
         F         A              Dm
And I'm sorry for all the nasty things
                         Bb
I said about your mother
                     F                 C
(Even though we both know they're true).


[Chorus]
     Dm        A
I'm sorry, forgive me,
       Dm
I'm swallowing my pride,
              A*           A7*
I'd feel so guilty if you died,
         Bb           C                F    Bb F
Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm still pissed at you.