E
Standin' on the corner
  E
Not doin' nothin' to no one

   E
When a squad car stops
  E
And out jump cops
   E7
You one of them, if I ever saw one

   A
Wonder what I said
   A
As my face turned red
   A7
Up against the wall, says the tall one

    E
That's a cute mustache
    E
Have ya got any hash?
    E7
I'd like to make a buy, says the small one

[Chorus]
    A
Now da whole thing's silly
     A
But I'm starin' at the billy
     A7
Quietly askin' myself now will he

   E
Use that thing
   E
To make my eardrums ring
   E7
It's all a bad dream
    E7
And I'm in South Philly
    E
Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner

[Verse 2]
    E
Me and Mr. Hohner
    E
In Yuma, Arizona
     E
Tryin' to hitch a ride to Denver

     E
Well, out of a toll
      E
Comes the highway patrol
     E7
To check up on my gender

     A
Is it her or him
     A
Or maybe Tiny Tim?
       A7
Now up against the fence, says the dense one

     E
You have picked a bad spot
     E
To smoke your pot
     E7
Whatcha gonna do two against one?

[Chorus]
     A
Now da whole thing's silly
     A
But I'm starin' at the billy
     A7
Quietly askin' myself now will he

     E
Use that thing
      E
To make my eardrums ring
     E7
It's all a bad dream
    E7
And I'm in South Philly
    E
Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner

[Verse 3]
    E
Me and Mr. Hohner
   E
Relaxin' out at Kona
    E
Hawaiian sun can be groovy

    E
When a pair of MPs
    E
Yell out, freeze!
    E7
And I think I gotta part in a movie

     A
Hey! I'm talkin' to you
     A
Tell me what did I do?
     A7
You're a draft card burner, says the thin one

      E
We can tell by your looks
       E
That you read too many books of wars
      E7
And that's because ya ain't been in one

[Chorus]
      A
Now the whole thing's silly
     A
But I'm starin' at the billy
     A7
Quietly askin' myself now will he

     E
Use that thing
     E
To make my eardrums ring
    E7
It's all a bad dream
    E7
And I'm in South Philly
    E
Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner