The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota

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Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming after working all year down at 'Big Roy's 
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Heating And Plumbing'
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So one night when my family and I were gathered 'round the dinner table
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I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world now, where'd you like to go 
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ta?", they said
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"Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota", they picked the biggest ball of 
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twine in Minnesota

[Verse 2]

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So the very next day we loaded up the car, with potato skins and pickled wieners
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Crossword puzzles, Spider-Man comics, and mama's home made rhubarb pie
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Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors they all waved good-bye and so began our three
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 day journey...
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We picked up a guy holding a sign that said, "Twine ball or bust"
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He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie...
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I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net
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Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down yelling, "Are we there yet?"
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And all of us were joined together in one common thought
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As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto
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We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, we're headin for the biggest ball o 
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twine in Minnesota

[Verse 3]

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Oh, we couldn't wait to get there, so we drove straight through for three whole days and nights
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Of course, we stopped for more pickled wieners now and then
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The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids could've seen it
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But you can't see out of the side of the car, because the windows are completely covered
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With the decals from all the places where we've already been
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Like Elvis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum, the Boll Weevil Monument and Cranberry World
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The Shuffleboard Hall Of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock, and The Mecca of Albino Squirrels
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We been to ghosttowns, theme parks, wax museums and the place where you can drive through the 
middle of a tree
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We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches, but there's still one thing we gotta see...

[Verse 4]

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Well, we crossed the state line about 6]39 and we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball exit, 
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fifty miles"
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Oh the kids were so happy they started singing 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" for the 27th time
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 that day
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So we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station,got a few more pickled wieners &a 
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diet chocolate soda
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On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, we gonna see the biggest ball of 
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twine in Minnesota

[Verse 5]

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Finally, at 7]37 early Wednesday evening, as the sun was setting in the Minnesota sky
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Out in the distance on the horizon, it appeared to me like a vision before my unbelieving eyes
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I parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence, toward that glorious, huge, majestic 
sphere
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I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer intensity.......I had to pop myself a beer...
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Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays, in a little shrine under a 
makeshift pagoda
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There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, I tell you it's the biggest ball of 
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twine in Minnesota

[Bridge]

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Oh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing?
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Oh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string
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What was he trying to prove? Who was he trying to impress?
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Why did he build it? How did he do it? It's anybody's guess
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Where did he get the twine? What was goin' through his mind? did it just seem like a good idea 
at the time?

[Verse 6]

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Well, we walked up beside it and I warned the kids
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"Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason"
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I said "Maybe if you're good I'll tie it to the back of our car and we can take it home" but I
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 was only teasin
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Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line, bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine
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Some window decals and anything else they'd sell us
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And I bought a couple postcards "Greetings from the twine ball, wish you were here"
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Won't the folks back home be jealous?
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I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball, and we all gathered 'round and said, 
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"Cheese"
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Then Bernie ran away with my brand new Instamatic, but at least we got our memories

[Verse 7]

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So we all just stared at the ball for a while, and my eyes got moist but I said with a smile
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"Kids, this here's what America's all about"...
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Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside, And I fell on my knees and I cried and cried
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And that's when those security guards threw us out...
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You know, I bet if we unraveled that sucker, it'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota
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Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of 
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twine in Minnesota

[Verse 8]

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Well we stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn, in the morning we were on our way home again
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But we really didn't want to leave, that was perfectly clear
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I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go" then I winked my eye and I said
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"You know, I got a funny kind of feelin' we'll be comin' back again next year"
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Cause I've been all around this great big world, and I can't think of anywhere else I'd 
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rather go ta
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Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
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Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota!