|C#m / / /|C#m / / C|C#m / / /|C#m / / C|

[Verse]
C#m                                         C*
Slip into a cinema and give yourself a treat
C#m
Ya better take your raincoat could be sticky on the seat
F#m              E        F#m      E
Aaaaah ah-ah aah,   ah-ah ah ah aah
C#m                                       C*
Open up your Twisties and open up your fly
C#m
Picture starts to flicker as your hand moves down your thigh
F#m              E        F#m      E* N.C.
Aaaaah ah-ah aah,   ah-ah ah ah aah

[Chorus]
Em        Bm G    C                  Em7
  If your mo-ther knew what you were doing
      Dm7           Fm           C    B
She'd probably hang her head and cry
Em    Bm G   C                     Em7
  And if she thought that you were whipping the dripping
      Dm7                Fm                           C    B
She'd give you a belt, extract all the teeth off your fly

[Interlude]
|C#m / / /|C#m / / C|C#m / / /|C#m / / C|

[Verse]
C#m                                              C*
Munchy munchy Twisties the shorts are such a drag
C#m
Make a little opening in the other end of your bag
F#m              E        F#m      E
Aaaaah ah-ah aah,   ah-ah ah ah aah
C#m                                                      C*
And now ya put your Twisties right down there in your lap
C#m
No-one ever guesses your whatsit's in the pack
F#m              E        F#m      E* N.C.
Aaaaah ah-ah aah,   ah-ah ah ah aah

[Chorus]
Em        Bm G    C                  Em7
  If your mo-ther knew what you were doing
      Dm7           Fm           C    B
She'd probably hang her head and cry
Em    Bm G   C                     Em7
  And if she thought that you were whipping the dripping
      Dm7                Fm
She'd give you a belt, extract all the teeth off your ...
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la

[Bridge]
D#                                        F#maj7
Better get a grip on yourself, you better pull yourself together
D#                                        Em
Better get a grip on yourself, you better pull yourself together
D#                                        F#maj7
Better get a grip on yourself, you better pull yourself together
D#                                        Em
Better get a grip on yourself, you better pull yourself together
D#                                        F#maj7
Better get a grip on yourself, you better pull yourself together
D#                                        Em
Better get a grip on yourself, you better pull yourself together

[Interlude]
(Pick notes)
|_ _ E D# D B A# A|
(Strum)
|C#m / / /|C#m / / C|C#m / / /|C#m / / C|
(Pick notes)
|_ _ E D# D B A# A|

[Verse]
C#m                                                 C*
Picture's almost over but still your not quite there
C#m
John Wayne pulls his gun out and you wish he'd some to spare
F#m              E        F#m      E
Aaaaah ah-ah aah,   ah-ah ah ah aah
C#m                                                       C*
And then they turn the lights on and people start to stare
C#m
You find you've got a boot full and your coat's stuck to the chair
F#m              E        F#m      E* N.C.
Aaaaah ah-ah aah,   ah-ah ah ah aah

[Chorus]
Em        Bm G    C                  Em7
  If your mo-ther knew what you were doing
      Dm7           Fm           C    B
She'd probably hang her head and cry
Em    Bm G   C                     Em7
  And if she thought that you were whipping the dripping
      Dm7                Fm
She'd give you a belt, extract all the teeth off your ...
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la

[Outro]
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la
C                         F             G
Ooh la laaa la la-la laaa la la-la laaa la