Reasons To Never Date Again

Eb              Eb                        Ebm         Bb
I just went out on a date that turned out not to be a date
Bb                                           Ebm
Just a solo dinner where you're increasingly late
Eb                                 Ebm
I call you and you say you wrote a text you forgot to send
Bb               Eb                Bb                    Eb
I just smile and say goodnight and swear I'll never date again


[Verse 2]
Eb                                       Bb
Picking clothes is such a chore, I never know what I should wear
Bb                                                  Eb
Am I too assertive if I wear that special underwear?
Eb                                              Ebm           Abm
I clean my room and water my plants in case you come over and then
Bb                Eb            Bb                    Eb
I come home drunk and alone and swear I'll never date again


[Chorus]
Eb
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
         Ab   Bb                            Eb
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
Eb                Bb             Ebm
I think that even Sisyphus would hate this uphill climb
Abm                                  Eb            Bb
And I'm not sure that Tinder is what Darwin had in mind


[Verse 3]
Ebm                            Eb                            Bb
Message in your inbox with the same joke I've told a million times
Bb7                                            Bb   Ebm
Timing out my texts to match the tempo of your last reply
Ebm                      Eb                                    Abm
I could play these games or skip the middleman and sodomize my brain
   Bb               Eb                                      Ebm
At least my mind is getting some more reasons to never date again


[Verse 4]
Em                        E                Bm
Making plans for ten days time I know that she will never keep
          B               B7                             Em
Someone's mom just got to town, someone's cat got put to sleep
       E                                                        Am
We'll make plans when they get back but never mentions where or when
     B                                                Em
I've diagnosed another ghost and reason to never date again


[Chorus]
Em
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
E                               B   Em
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
  Bm                             Em
I think that even Sisyphus would hate this uphill climb
    Am                               B
And I'm not sure that Tinder is what Darwin had in mind


[Outro]
E5                      Em                 B
Everything's so casual, everything's so... cool
          Bm            B                         Em
Don't let someone close enough to push you in the pool
      E
Well, I want someone to ruin my life
                       Am
I want to fall in love again
    B                       E                        B          Em  E
But instead you only ruined my night with reasons to never date again