Lift Girls Lament

D
Going up
D
First floor
D
Knitwear, napiery, beachwear, sportswear,corsetry, millinery, ladies underwear...
D
thank yoooou    going up...

[Verse 1]:
D
We are the lift girls
                     A
In a big department store.
     A
We kindly take the patrons
                         D
Going up from floor to floor.
       D
Don't wonder if we're weary
      G
Of standing up all day,
A
Cause when the doors fly open
G                 D
It's our job to say

D
Second floor
D
Glassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery and Fandango Tea room
D
Refreshments: Lemonade, orange juice, milkshakes, arsenic and rat poison
D
Thank yoooou        going up

[Verse 2]:
D
We are the lift girls
                       A
We're careful how we dress
   A
I like my job but I''d very much rather
                      D
Have been an air hostess.
       D
But as I was always airsick
         G
And I couldn't pass the test
      A
I stand here pushing buttons
          G                 D
And the lift does all the rest.

D
Third floor
D
Cosmetics, perfumes and colognes, ribbons, handbags, shopping baskets
D
Buttons, belts, teen and twenty dresses,
D
Thank yooou...going up...
D
Ah excuse me, ma'am, can I find glasses on this floor?
D
Glassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery and Fandango Tearoom
D
Second floor.   Uh  are you perhaps going down?
D
going up!

[Verse 3]

D
Ag sies, tog Marlene
                          A
What a hell of a job this is.
      A
The boss won't even give us time
                   D
To go and have a zizz.
      D
And while on the job
         G
We can't even have a smoke
A
Ag I'm so tired man
           G             D
I'd give anything for a Coke.

D
Fourth floor
D
Kiddies wear, juvenile, children and subteens, teens, twenties
D
Middle age, old age, senility, dotage, decomposition
D
Thank yoooou,  Funeral shrouds...Going up...

[Verse 4]

D
Don't lean on the buttons please
                    A
Don't lean on the doors
     A
The car's full up now so you'll have to
                    D
Walk to the other floors.
 D
Hey, take your hands off me
 G
Who do you think you are.
   A
I may do a thousand feet a day
         G                    D
But I'm not going to go that far.

D
Fifth floor
D
Radio department, electrical appliances, hairdressing salon, friendly sewing school
D
Thank you    Going up
N.C.
Sixth floor
N.C.
Offices and accounts, offices and accounts, going up.....Going Down

[Verse 5]:
D
If only I had a minute or two
    A
To sit down on my seat.
      A
I'm going to sue the company
                     D
For giving me flat feet.
      D
Now I've got fallen arches
        G
And lumbago in my back
      A
I suppose it won't be long now
                   D
Before I get the sack.
D
Now when the lift gets stuck for an hour or two
                        A
You really can't blame me.
      A
If I don't appear to symphatise
                D
With your anxiety.
             D
Cause I've seen enough of these four walls
     G
To last for many a day
     A
So when the clock says half past five
     G                          D
I'm overjoyed to say    going home.