Intro:

Strum the C chord a few times 'til you get the rythm.

Verse 1:

                  Fmaj7            G           C
The mink lost her furry scarf, she said it was stolen,
                  Fmaj7                  G              C
The shoe salesman wanted to help, 'cause he had so much sole,
    Fmaj7               G                  C
But then his whole left side fell off, but he's all right now,
    Fmaj7           G              C               G
The pregnant heifer saw it happen, yeah, she had a cow,

Chorus:

        C   Fmaj7      G                   C
And the C O 2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
                  Fmaj7 G                       C
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
                    Fmaj7 G                       C
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass. 

Verse 2:

                        Fmaj7         G             C
The bike can't stand up by itself, it says it's two-tired,
                Fmaj7             G               C
The human cannonball was late for work and he got fired,
    Fmaj7             G                  C
And if your pants are too big you'll get exposed in the end,
    Fmaj7             G                C                  G
And if you crash your fancy car you'll see how a mercedez bends,

Chorus:

        C   Fmaj7      G                   C
And the C O 2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
                  Fmaj7 G                       C
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
                    Fmaj7 G                       C
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass. 

Verse 3:

                        Fmaj7          G                    C
I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me,
                        Fmaj7    G                 C
It's just like riding a bike, or playing with your wii,
   Fmaj7              G          C
If you don't pay your excorcist, you'll get repossessed,
    Fmaj7          G                C                    G
The pirate shot himself so he could have that dead man's chest,

Chorus:

        C   Fmaj7      G                   C
And the C O 2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
                  Fmaj7 G                       C
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
                    Fmaj7 G                       C
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
                    Fmaj7 G                       C
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
                    Fmaj7 G                       C
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass.