Legal Illegal

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Every time you pick up a newspaper
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Every time you turn on the TV
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You can bet your old boots that at some point you'll see
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A high ranking copper or else an MP
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Calling on all who are British and free
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To stand up and defend law and order


It's illegal to rip off a payroll
It's illegal to hold up a train
But it's legal to rip off a million or two
That comes from the labour that other folks do
To plunder the many on behalf of the few
Is a thing that is perfectly legal

It's illegal to kill off a landlord
Or to trespass upon his estate
But to charge a high rent for a slum is OK
To condemn 2 adults and 3 children to stay
In a hovel that's rotten with damp and decay
Is a thing that is perfectly legal

If your job turns you into a zombie
Then it's legal to feel some despair
But don't be aggressive that is if you're smart
And for Christ's sake don't upset the old apple cart
Remember the boss has your interests at heart
And it grieves him to see you unhappy

If you fashion a bomb in your kitchen
You're guilty of breaking the law
But a bloody great nuclear plant is OK
Though plutonium processing hastens the day
When this tiny little isle may be blasted away
Nonetheless it is perfectly legal

It's illegal if you are a Gypsy
To camp by the side of the road
But it's proper and right for the rich and the great
To live in a mansion or own an estate
That was got from the people by pillage and rape
That's what they call a tradition

It's illegal to carve up your missus
Or put poison in your old man's tea
But poison the rivers, the seas and the skies
And poison the mind of a nation with lies
If it's done in the interest of free enterprise
Then it's proper and perfectly legal

It's legal to join a trade union
And to picket is one of your rights
But don't be offensive when scabs cross the line
Be nice to the coppers and keep this in mind
To picket effectively that is a crime
Worse than if you had murdered your mother


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It's legal to sing on the telly
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But they make bloody sure that you don't
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If you sing about racists and fascists and creeps
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And thieves in high places that live off the weak
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And those who are selling us right up the creek
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The twisters, the takers, the conmen, the fakers
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The whole bloody gang of exploiters!