Well I had a drink with a friend of mine
a week ago today
we were celebrating a month and a half
too late St. Paddy's Day
well I bought 'im a round and he bought me a round
and the bouncer bought us anudder
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter

Well we looked at each other and had to laugh
as we lay there in our stink
well I woulda cried if I woulda thought
but every time I thought I'd drink
and if his poor old gray-haired ma'd
see us there she woulda shuddered
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter

Well my Irish friend he liked to surf
but me I couldn't swim
well he said that he could teach me how
and I said I trusted him
he swore he'd never let me drown
he loved me like a brudder
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter

Well sure enough I drowned
and I wound up at the pearly gates
where St. Peter said, "You're drunk as
hell and son you shoulda ate"
so he sent me back down to get a bite
but instead I bought anudder
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter